We’re long overdue for an update here at Howler Life. My sincerest apologies for that. In absence of updates and insights on the Red Rising series — I’m amidst a re-read of Iron Gold right now — I did have some thoughts about Pierce Brown’s recent Instagram post, in which he shows us the face he makes in response to a handful of ridiculous questions…

As the post states, here are the questions he’s been asked numerous times over the last year…

1. Can I have a piece of your hair?
2. My friends and I have a bet going, can I please grab your ass so I can tell them I did?
3. Why did you have to make ____ gay?
4. Will ____ survive the next book?
5. Can I have your dog? (I will hunt you and make pies of you).

And understandably, he’s perfected the polite WTF face like a trouper.

Lessons to learn here:

• Don’t ask for his hair.
• Don’t ask to grab his posterior.
• Don’t ask him to explain why he made a certain character gay.
• Don’t ask who’s going to die.
• Don’t ask for his dog.

These really aren’t the things I’d rank high on my own list of questions. I mean, sure, Eo’s adorable, but she’s probably pretty attached to her person.

Maybe you’re thinking, “If I can’t ask him for a piece of his hair, what the heck should I ask him?” That is a good question. Weird, but good. You’re headed in the right direction anyway. Off the top of my head, here are some questions I’d ask Pierce Brown if given the chance…

• Is there anything especially interesting or relevant from Darrow and Victra’s time at the Academy that didn’t make it into the books?
• What’s something we don’t know about Whites? (Alternate: What goes into the training for a Yellow?)
• What happened to Bryn’s sister, Ryanna, after Sons of Ares? (I’m actually hoping this gets answered in one of the future books, but if not, I’d love to know the answer.)
• (Morning Star spoiler alert:) If Darrow had both hands, would he have been able to beat Aja on his own?
• And I’ll throw a personal question in there: Who’s your favorite Harry Potter character and why? (Alternate: If you could be any character on Battlestar Galactica, who would you be?)

These are things I need to know. Plus so many more things. Really, I’m the fan who’d want to buy him coffee or a beer or scotch or whatever liquid might keep him content while I barraged him with questions that started with “Don’t spoil me but can you tell me what/why/how…” until I felt like I knew every corner of the Red Rising universe as well as he surely does.

In the end, I think I’d get the face eventually.